“Baywatch” Review

26 May, 2017

Director: Seth Gordon
Screenwriters: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift
Director of Photography: Eric Steelberg
Cast: 
Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Kelly Rohrbach

Synopsis: A rehash of an iconic TV show in which a team of lifeguards try their best to protect their local community, leading them onto uncover a deadly drug plot which law enforcers have chosen to ignore.

Baywatch Review:

A puerile comedy where jokes about testicles take precedence over believable interactions, “Baywatch” sees yet another disaster on this year’s remake line-up as Paramount’s laughless alternative to a 90s hit creates a show for the fools and not for the fans. Rock-bottom filmmaking at its most repellent, the movie might as well be another “Piranha” sequel with its bouncing breasts, beach-based gore, and CGI scenery harking back to the original series on nothing but a superficial level due to the film’s entirely misconstrued breed of plotting.

Perversely ogling in the direction of its lead cast, the movie both delights and disgusts in the presence of exposed bodies, finding reason to scoff at genitals and body hair with the same vigour with which it gawks at tight swimsuits and athletic physiques. Transforming both the hideous and the beautiful into something equally unpalatable, “Baywatch” insults those unfortunate enough to meet its shallow gaze, ensuring that most gags are met with eye rolls rather than laughter while barely attempting to capture the true essence of the TV show.

Failing to recapture the nostalgia of the Hasselhoff classic, the film wastes cameos on a crude and rude farce, allowing slapstick and cheese to mesh with a postmodern aesthetic while actors with more brawn than brains find themselves typecast in a film that might as well be scriptless. Despite the efforts of loveable numbskull Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, who spends the entire movie chucking tween insults at younger co-star Zac Efron, “Baywatch” sees little effort put into the beats of its narrative, proving once again that the more fun cast members have on set the more atrocious the final product is guaranteed to be.

 

   

Summary
Review Date
Movie
Baywatch
Rating
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