“Rings” Review ✦✧✧✧✧

3 February, 2017

Director: F. Javier Gutiérrez
Screenwriters: David Loucka, Jacob Estes, Akiva Goldsman
Director of Photography: Sharone Meir
Cast: Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz, Johnny Galecki, Vincent D’Onofrio

Synopsis: A couple on the receiving end of a deadly curse attempt to unearth the history behind a viral video that kills people a week after they watch it.

Rings Review:

Envisioned as nothing more than an unnecessary revival movie made for teens, philistines, and amnesiacs, “Rings” proves to be a film so extraordinarily inept that it makes the previous instalments in the franchise look like far more impressive movies than they ever really were. Horrific in a way that was never truly intended, the film takes a much-loved premise and slowly hacks it to pieces, allowing the story’s natural twists and turns to run amok in a rehash that’s about as thrilling as a wobbly carousel ride.

“Rings” gives new meaning to the phrase ‘chaos is the law of nature’ as it proceeds to obliterate every last speck of hope that ageing horror fans are clinging to with the news of further sequels and reboots. Aside from the butchered screenplay, which is one of the worst examples of ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’ in recent history, the film looks like it was directed by an amoeba who has absolutely no idea how to shoot or edit a scene. Just because a horror movie is dimly lit doesn’t mean it’s scary and “Rings” ends up looking like it was filmed inside a pond, making its place on the big screen feel rather undeserved in a film that’s closer to being a spoof than an accurate follow-up movie.

It’s clear that the creators weren’t even aiming to surpass mediocrity with this one as “Rings” fails to competently bridge the technological gap between two time periods, opting instead for a few half-assed VHS references before its deadly video miraculously finds its way onto a computer instead. Ruining the original laws in the process while never really finding a way to put all of the pieces back together, the producers leave viewers to suffer the torment of a repackaged concept which retains about as much relevance to its predecessor as “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” does to the Tobe Hooper original.

Made even more confusing by the bizarre crossover between the original Daveigh Chase Samara and a newly rendered CGI model, it’s never fully clear where the movie sits in the franchise. If anything, these inconsistencies act as proof that each scenario exists with the sole purpose of being chopped up into a trailer that can persuade everyday patrons into paying money to see this dung heap. Even the soundtrack appears to have been stolen from about a hundred different film scores, all of which are instantly recognisable and highly distracting. It’s worth noting here that the wonderful Hans Zimmer was tasked with composing the score for Gore Verbinski’s “The Ring” and he did a mighty fine job of it too. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for this monstrosity which fails in almost every way imaginable.


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